We're like a lot better than the average bears
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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