Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
