I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
