She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
