Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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