It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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