I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize