there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
