Yo dont text me then not text me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
