hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
home. puking in laundry basket.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
