They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
