It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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