He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
