I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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