i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
