How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
