Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Duck Duck Cougar?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
