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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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