was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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