I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
