You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
