She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
