Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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