that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
