the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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