Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
