This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
