is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
