Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
