so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
