Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude. I can hear the air.
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