My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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