My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
