i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
