i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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