i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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