he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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