fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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