I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
