You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
