Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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