I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Why is your signature on my underwear?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
