I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
