So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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