i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize