If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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