SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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