She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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