maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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