I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
