just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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