This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
