The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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