i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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