I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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