they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We have started to decorate penises.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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