you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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