just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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