i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
